Dostoyevsky’s “Notes From The Underground” is the tale of a former Russian civil servant who enjoys writing long, misanthropic diatribes in his diary. Nowadays,  we’ve jettisoned the diaries for Twitter and Yelp, where we can bare our cold, dark souls to the world.

So what would the “Notes From The Underground” look like on Twitter? @Undergroundman5 has the answer.